Welcome back to Naija Interest, your no.1 site! I hope you’re good and that you have digested the lessons from yesterday’s post and have started doing something to break-free. As said yesterday, we will be looking into another interesting topic today; What You Need To Do After You’re Set Free. If you missed yesterday’s topic, please visit…
Back to the topic of focus: What Next After Breaking Free
Now that you’re free from the shackles of your past relationship, what should come next? Are you expected to be convenient with the fact that you’re free? Should you be scared of giving someone else a chance?
Well, If truly you have been set free, it should no longer take you anything to take some bold steps. Let us call that the post-breakup steps. But the steps you take determine what next happens in your life.
Your former relationship must have crashed due to some certain factors. Well, there’s nobody to blame anymore for what happened. You should not hold to the belief that your ex is at fault or something. There are people out there who are responsible for their own breakups. Yet, this set of people refuse to accept the fault, they try to put it on their ex partners. I must be frank with you; if you belong to this category, then be sure you’re not growing.
Apart from the fact that the breakup happened because of some certain things, you shouldn’t stop there to embrace or repel the blame. All these things ain’t needed anymore. You need to grow up. Don’t remain on that same point.
During this period, you should be able to sit down, find out those things that were not right in your former relationship, what resulted into the breakup, and other necessary things. If you can do this, it is a sign you are growing. It means you have gathered enough knowledge.
Relationships are learning grounds that help you develop and mature. If you make the same errors you made in your former relationship(s) in the future, it is an indication you are not growing at all. Don’t get me wrong, but these errors are not limited to the errors that crashed your relationship.
Of course, it might not have been your fault, but that does not mean you should not have learnt one thing or another from your previous relationship(s). There are errors that you must have committed either innocently or deliberately.
You must be able to note these errors. These are some useful things that would help you in your next relationship. Apart from the errors, the relationship itself must have thought you some things. You must have gathered some experiences. Such experiences would help you know the type of person you go into a relationship with next time.
Breakups are actually opportunities to make amends. Your next relationship shouldn’t be what the former was.
It is a thing to gather experiences (knowledge) and another thing to apply the knowledge (wisdom). If you make the same errors in your future relationship(s), then it is a waste of knowledge.
So, when is the right time to give love another chance?
This depends on you. You don’t necessarily have to take a decade off. I believe the right answer is: the very time you’re sure love has come your way. The very time you’re sure about the individual and what you feel for the person. The very moment you are able to discern and you’re very sure the person loves you just the same way you love him/her.
You don’t rush into a relationship because you think you can’t live alone, you don’t go into a relationship because the person has helped you erase the pains of your previous relationship. Finding the right person is more than that.
There’s every probability you would end up in another breakup if you do this. Most times, you don’t even have a genuine love for the individual you’ve just said yes to. You think he/she deserves it or you need it. Very wrong!!
You have to learn to be on your own. Before your very first relationship, you were on your own and doing fine! Why can’t you be your partner for a reasonable period of time until you are back on your feet again — strong and ready?
Give yourself the best time you need. Don’t make a fool out of yourself and stop wasting your time on relationships you know will never work. There’s nothing special in jumping from one relationship to another.
Many youths believe you must have a taste of different relationships to be good for marriage. Is it because relationships are learning grounds? Many believe you are not doing well if you stick to an individual all the days of your life. This births the topic for another day this week: HOW MANY RELATIONSHIPS WOULD PREPARE YOU FOR MARRIAGE?
I guess I must come to a conclusion at this juncture.
Please, don’t make the same errors, apply the lessons you have learnt in your next retionship and take your time to be sure of whatever decision you’re about to make. Make sure it is the best. Remember, you have to love yourself first.
Although you have to love yourself first, I do love you too (lol).
Don’t forget to share whatever you have in mind using the comment box. It is cool rubbing minds with you guys. See you around again. Thank you for reading.
Coming soon: How Many Relationships Would Prepare You For Marriage?
Till then, do have a lovely day!